Drumroll please

I feel my heart, beating like drums in an orchestra
There is no escape, the walls are getting closer
They whisper – put it on, put it on, just one more mask
Hiding behind a smile never killed anybody
Or did it?
I dont know how to exist alone
A child that needs to be fed, nurtured
(psycho head)
I have a few old pieces of plastic in my pocket
And a few pieces of seashells
And some old dreams, abandoned ideas of the person that I once was
And that will never exist again, buried under all the morning cigarettes
Under quiet, calm lunches with vegan sauces and homemade bread
Under your naked body, under your glance, which is a laser, which is a microsope, which makes me naked, like really naked, not only my body but also my soul
Who knows what happens when you learn to let go
Certainly not me
I dont know anything
Im empty, like a cardboard box you forgot in the attic
Full of dust, desire and never ending patience, waiting to be saved, always waiting to be saved
Or to be recycled
To be erased
So I´ll try to draw another face on the surface
Maybe this time I will forget
Thats its just a caricature
Of someone that solely and utterly
Lives in my head
In my memories
The identity I once had